Vanity

I'm not sure when my vanity began. I'm not proud of it, but it's still there. I want to teach/show my children that being vain is in no way a good thing. I know already that I am failing in this venture. My daughters especially, see me doing my hair and putting on make-up. They ask about it and now even want lip gloss for themselves. They are only 3 and 1 year of age.

I do think it is good to take pride in ones self, but there is a line. I do believe I have crossed the line. Do I plan to change my attitude towards it, probably not.

Earlier this year I had lasik eye surgery to get rid of my glasses. I did this because I have been forced into wearing glasses for the last 7 years. I have hated every minute of it. I was supposed to have received the surgery for a college graduation gift from my mother, but that fell through. I didn't mind wearing contacts, but then I developed an astigmatism and was unable to wear the contacts any longer. About that time I became pregnant with Logan and was either nursing my children or pregnant pretty much the whole 7 years. With that part of my life over, I had the surgery. I have never regretted my decision. It is wonderful to be able to see all of the time!

I have now decided that I would love to have a breast augmentation. I used to be happy with my breasts, but now, after nursing the 4 kiddos, I am extremely unhappy. I have tried to be fine with it, but deep down I am not. I would like the surgery sooner rather than later for me and my kids' sake. I would like them to not remember anything about it being done just for the fact that I don't want them to think their body is not good enough. I know this screams vainness, but I can't seem to shake it.

I am afraid that if I do go through with this new surgery that I could very well become addicted to plastic surgery and procedures that make you look better. Good thing for me is that we really don't have money to spend on these and I hate to spend money on things that I don't see as a necessity (unless it's a vacation, and that is necessary sometimes).